Gordon Winston-Smythe

posted a message on Twitter

“5 Mumbai terrorists reportedly still at large. They're probably looking for a place to stay because no hotel will have 'em.”

1 hour ago - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“I'm interviewed at http://tweetabix.com/”

4 hours ago - Link

posted two messages on Twitter

“Final reports show Black Friday retail increases over last year. Doing especially well; coffins.”

13 hours ago - Link

“Laura Bush says the Obamas do NOT strike her as a prospective President and First lady. She prefers alcoholics with daddy issues.”

14 hours ago - Link

posted two messages on Twitter

“Research on mice links fast food to Alzheimers. Mice say they were fine with cheese & thank scientists for screwing them over. Again.”

Saturday at 1:12 pm - Link

“Mumbai Hotels searched now siege is over. Police find numerous toilet rolls unfolded at end.”

Saturday at 12:46 pm - Link

posted two messages on Twitter

“Al Franken's run for Senate is looking more like an SNL sketch - it doesn't know how to end.”

Friday at 11:11 pm - Link

“Police declare Mumbai situation over. Remaining guests complain bitterly about room service.”

Friday at 11:06 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Bush wants history to see him as liberator of millions. Don't laugh, he is. Of people and their money.”

Friday at 2:53 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Another tanker taken by Somali pirates. If he knew what Pirates Of Carribean would have started, would Depp have done it?”

Friday at 11:53 am - Link

posted two messages on Twitter

“Man killed, woman miscarries, 3 hospitalized at Black Friday stampede in Long Island. Proving US can out-Mumbai Mumbai any day of week.”

Friday at 9:50 am - Link

“Man killed, woman miscarries, 3 hospitalized at Black Friday stampede in Long Island. On plus side, DVD players never priced so low.”

Friday at 9:44 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Study says HIV will be eliminated "within a decade". Study doesn't say which decade.”

Wednesday at 12:14 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Bush grants pardon for turkey in Iowa. Unsurprisingly, no one wants to pardon the turkey in Washington.”

November 26 at 11:33 am - Link

Sociosophy Reviews liked this

posted a message on Twitter

“A new Abigail up at http://www.abisteendiary.com”

November 25 at 11:39 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Boy George chains male escort to bedroom wall. Sadly, the only way he can get an audience these days.”

November 24 at 8:09 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Alan Colmes to depart 'Hannity & Colmes'. When reached for comment, Sean Hannity asked "Sorry, who's he again?"”

November 24 at 5:16 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Mukasey giving a spirited defense of Bush administration legal policies when he collapsed. Guess God doesn't always move so mysteriously.”

November 21 at 11:22 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“5 Ways To Prevent Alzehimer's. 1) Antioxidants. 2) Fish oil. 3) Curry. 4) ...Fuck. I've forgotten.”

November 20 at 5:40 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Post Office to unveil a stamp honoring Bob Hope. It will primarily entertain the troops and won't be remotely funny by the time it arrives.”

November 20 at 12:43 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Scientists find penguin that disappeared 500 years ago. When questioned, the penguin claimed not to remember where he was.”

November 19 at 2:18 pm - Link

posted two messages on Twitter

“Tom Daschle named Sec of Health. Wife Linda, a lobbyist, only has a few health clients - so that's all right then. Hooray for change!”

November 19 at 11:06 am - Link

“Tom Daschle named Sec of Healthy. Wife Linda, a lobbyist, only has a few health clients - so that's all right then. Hooray for change!”

November 19 at 11:05 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Hilary Clinton accepts Obama post with conditions. She'll be first Sec. of State to operate from the Oval Office.”

November 17 at 4:32 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“McCain and Obama meet up. Obama went for the high five and it was all downhill from there.”

November 17 at 12:50 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Wanda Skyes declares she's gay. Ellen coughs and tries to look busy.”

November 17 at 11:02 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Pirates hijack oil tanker meaning price of gas might possibly climb to $4.00. Pirates wearing Shell uniforms and smoking cigars.”

November 17 at 9:14 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“CIA report Bin Laden a recluse, living to survive, etc. If they know so much why haven't they got him?”

November 14 at 1:32 am - Link

posted two messages on Twitter

“White powder sent to Mormon temples in Utah & LA. Initial testing says it's gay powder.”

November 13 at 10:03 pm - Link

“That pregnant man is pregnant again. Takes award for sluttiest bloke in the world.”

November 13 at 9:58 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Republican congressman Paul Broun sorry for comparing Obama to Hitler. Hitler's estate has remained silent throughout this whole affair.”

November 13 at 4:38 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Palin holds first press conference to declare that NO ONE puts baby in a corner.”

November 13 at 10:11 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Obama appoints Hillary to White House position. She'll be the one answering the phones at 3AM.”

November 12 at 10:00 am - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Obama reverses decision not to let lobbyists work for him & will let them on his team. Turns out 'change' means something else in Hawaiian.”

November 11 at 9:20 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Bush says he's planning on writing a book. Of course, he has to learn to read first.”

November 11 at 4:46 pm - Link

posted a message on Twitter

“Palin says she hopes God 'shows her the way' for 2012 election. Did he not just show you? Or do you and God like to play Best Of 3?”

November 10 at 11:44 pm - Link

Gordon Winston-Smythe

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